5 & 1 Spirk
by jessica499499
Summary: 5 people Jim said he loved and the one that loved him back.Slash. Spirk, Spork or Spim.The spirk won't start until the 6th chapter, FYI, but the rest are good too! It's a real tear jerker at the start, but the ending will make you gush with happiness!R&R!
1. Winona

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Don't sue me.

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><p>He was five years old the first time he remembers telling his mother he loved her. His kindergarten class had all made cards for their mothers on account of it being mother's day and he'd worked especially hard on making his look as pretty as a five year old could. The card was covered in glitter and scribbles, but overflowing with all his love.<p>

Nothing had pleased him more than to find his mother would actually be Earthside on Mother's day and he'd barely gotten any sleep the night before in excitement. He greeted the morning with a bright grin as he rushed to the kitchen with card in hand. He found his mother nursing her first cup of coffee for the day and staring blankly at the nearest wall, the place he always found her when she arrived home.

"Happy Mother's day Mama! I made you a card!" Jim shrieked as loud as his little lungs would let him.

Winona didn't jump at the unexpected shriek and simply turned her head slowly in his direction. Her gaze was cloudy and distant, the way it always looked when it landed on him.

Not deterred in the slightest, Jim forced the card into her lap and waited eagerly for her to read it.

Her movements had a lethargic quality to them as she picked up the hand made card and read it's contents.

Jim was all up fidgeting with excitement as he awaited his mother's reaction. Several minutes past by in silence as neither moved.

"Mama?" Jim asked quietly, wondering if his mother had spaced out like she sometimes did. She seemed to shiver at the sound of his voice, curling into herself and burying her face in her hands.

"Go away. Just go away." She muttered.

Jim's face fell instantly and his eyes became clouded over with tears. He'd worked so hard and she, she didn't even…..

Anger pulsed through his veins like fire as he tore the card from her limp grasp.

"You didn't even read it! It says I love you Mama! I just learned how to spell it out!"

Winona just curled further into her arms and let out a low moan.

"Go away…I can't deal with this right now…."

Jim was too angry to back off like he normally would. Too enraged at being turned away again the one time he wanted to be acknowledged by his mother for something. Anything.

"Mama! Mama!" He shrieked, pulling at her arms to make her look at him.

Something snapped inside the older woman and made her bolt from the table in a blinding flash of movement that sent her chair tumbling backwards.

"Stop it! Stop looking at me with his eyes! Stop using his voice! Stop stop stop stop! I don't want to hear it!"

Jim fell back and at the shock of his mother's movement and watched with wide eyed fear as she toward over him, shaking with what could only be rage.

For a brief terrifying moment he was certain she was going to hurt him. Adrenaline pumped though his veins at the thought and made him crawl to the corner and curl into a quivering terrified ball.

He waited for what seemed like a long time for the blow to come, but it never did.

Instead his mother let out a shaky sigh and lowered her raised hand.

"I can't love you, why don't you understand that?" She muttered mostly to herself.

She left without another word, leaving the half torn card on the cool tiled floor in front of her frozen son.

It was a long time before Jim was able to uncurl himself and reach for the card with shaking hands.

He held it with the uttermost care, as though it was made of the thinnest material on the galaxy instead of the sturdy construction paper.

He traced his fingers along the tare in the card, noting how it cut directly though the word love in a harsh jagged line.

He traced it over and over as the tears dripped down his face without his notice.

He cried for his love lost mother and the fate of his card. But mostly he cried for himself, because despite it all he meant what he wrote in his card.

He still loved her.

Even if it was only because he didn't know how to stop.

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><p>This is my first 5 and 1 fic and I'm pretty proud of it. I think I was able to capture my moments fairly well, but I would love some feedback. My self esteem already took a nose dive when 1,240 people read my T'Zet 1 story and it only got 1 review! I was very wounded and tempted to not post this out of spite. I didn't think my Star Trek fans deserved it, but I'd hate to make the person who did review suffer. So you're all lucky!<p>

Yours truly,

Jessica499499


	2. Sam

Disclaimer: I own nothing, don't sue me.

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><p>Sam was leaving. Jim couldn't get pass that. Even as he watched his brother packing up his possessions he couldn't believe it.<p>

"Don't go Sam. Please don't go." He begged.

Sam wouldn't look at him. He'd looked at him less and less as time went on and now he wouldn't look at all. Just like their mother.

"Don't leave me alone Sam. You know what'll happen. I love you. Please, take me with you."

Sam slammed his suit case close and gripped the edges till his knuckles turned white.

"You'll only slow my down Jimmy. I can't take you with me. Stop asking." He hissed coldly.

Jim cried and begged but he couldn't change his brother's mind.

"Sam….." He called after him as he watched his brother walk away.

He watched until his brother was just a speck in the distance and he felt Frank's hand land on his shoulder with a sharp grip.

"We didn't need him anyway Jimmy boy. He was only a distraction. It's just you and me now and I'm not going anywhere."

Jim didn't say a word as his tears blurred his vision. He was already contemplating how to escape and follow Sam.

So as Frank led him back into the house he couldn't help but notice that the keys were still in his dad's car's ignition.

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><p>I promise this will be the shortest and lamest chapter in the whole bunch; the rest will be as awesome as the first one. I needed a fifth chapter that involved Sam and couldn't come up with anything better.<p>

P.S: I'm so glad to see so much love for the first chapter! 13 reviews! I'm so psyched! I've forgive everyone for not reviewing my last works! This made me feel so loved! Five more reviews and I'll update again! The next one's centered around Frank's place in Jim's life. It's a real tear jerker.

Yours Truly,

Jessica499499


	3. Frank

**Warning**: This is the most graphic chapter in this story and anyone uncomfortable with non-graphic rape should skip this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Don't sue me.

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><p>Jim was hiding. Every single one of his muscles in his 11 year old body was tensed and ready to bolt at the slightest sigh of movement. Every breath he took made him want to wince at his loudness. His mind just kept chanting the same phrase over and over.<p>

"_Please don't let him find me. Please don't let him find me." _

If he kept still enough, if he covered his tracks well enough, maybe….

"Jimmy boy…..Oh Jimmy boy." Frank called softly, his voice sending chills down Jim's spine.

"Come out come out where ever you are Jimmy. Hiding will only make things worse."

Jim stopped breathing. If he could just hold his breath till Frank got bored or passed out, maybe….

"Got ya!" Frank announced with triumph, snatching him up by the back of his collar from behind his homemade hologram projector.

"You think you're so smart with your high IQ and you still couldn't think of a better hiding place this time. I'm disappointed in you Jimmy boy and you know how I get when I'm disappointed."

Jim shook violently as Frank threw him to the ground and pinned him under his weight. He winced as his jacket was thrown open and his pants were roughly pulled down his narrow hips.

"Don't stop whimpering on me now Jimmy boy. You know what I like to hear."

Jim let out a tiny little whimper that didn't appease Frank like he'd hoped. He knew he had done the wrong thing when he felt Frank's knee connect with his gut.

It felt like his insides were on fire and he made a low shriek as it made contact.

"Who loves you Jimmy boy? Who keeps you fed and clothes and tolerates your living here under my roof? Say it Jimmy boy."

"You do." Jim muttered softly.

"You know what I want to hear! Say it!"

Jim winced as he felt Frank's chubby hands touch him everywhere they shouldn't. He knew what Frank wanted and he knew once he said it he could go away. To the place in the back of his mind where he weathered these encounters.

"I love you Frank." He whispered quietly, closing his eyes so as to ignore the pleased expression on his captor's face.

"That's a good boy Jimmy. A very good boy." Frank praised, each word emphasized with a harsh thrust.

Jim didn't hear him or feel him though. He was in his safe place. Where nothing could hurt him and he didn't have to feel.

Where he was surrounded by stars and filled with peace. Away from the people he loved and who loved him.

Because their love was more painful than any pain he had ever known.

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><p>Thanks for the five review! I hope you all like this chapter better! It was harder to write than the first two. The goal as always is five reviews!<p>

Yours truly,

Jessica499499


	4. Lucy

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But I have a gift for writing sad things.

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><p>"Lucy! Here girl! Lucy!" Jim called, walking through the fields around his house.<p>

His Labrador Lucy hadn't come home last night and he was starting to worry.

Lucy was his one friend in the whole universe and she always came home for supper.

He'd gone out at dawn to begin searching for her and the sun had gone down an hour ago.

He gone about two miles from home and could barely see his house in the distance. It was getting late and he knew he had to start heading home, but he gave one last call into the distance.

"Lucy! Lucy girl!"

A bush at Jim's right rustled loudly made Jim turn around hopefully.

His heart leap into his throat when he caught sight of bright eyes reflecting from his flashlight's glow. With the intimidating stride of a predator a dark shadow slinked forward.

Behind it came several more until Jim was surrounded by a pack of wolves.

Jim fell backwards and onto the hard ground and started breathing heavily as his head spun around in an effort to watch all of the glowing eyes at once.

"Lucy." He gasped out quietly, his voice barely more than a whisper.

None of the eyes around him were the loving brown ones of his faithful companion and he was at least able to feel a glimmer of hope that she was far away and safe.

He certainly wasn't.

He had heard tales all his life about packs of wolves of attack people who wondered around alone at night. Since they were a protected species and the farmers couldn't kill them their numbers had gotten out of control the last few years.

These facts were the last thing on Jim's mind as he curled into a ball and wished for a quick death.

He was ready to die and not have to face another dawn with his whole family gone or dead and Frank just itching to get his grubby hands all over him.

He had nothing precious left in this world except Lucy and even she had forsaken him.

"Just get it over with." He whispered into the darkness.

No sooner had he said the words then the first wolf jumped in for the kill.

Jim couldn't look away as death made another attempt at his life and in the time it took him to blink he was once again saved from it, this time by a flash of white blonde fur tackling the attacking wolf.

"Lucy!" He screamed, watching in horror as the two canines fought at his feet.

The wolves around him barked out bits of encouragement as they stared enraptured at the sight of their alpha of their pack fighting a mere Labrador.

Yelps and growled filled the night as fur and blood went flying.

They moved so quickly that Jim could barely catch their movements and couldn't tell who was winning.

Finally in a flash of bloodied fangs Lucy pinned the alpha down on his back and sunk her teeth into him.

The whole pack backed up at the sound of his dying yelp as she tore his throat out. His corpse fell to the ground lifelessly as Lucy shoved him aside and turned to glare at the remaining wolves.

One growl from her blood drenched lips sent them racing back into the fields and out of view.

Only when the last linger wolf had left did Lucy sway on her feet and collapse onto the ground in a graceless heap.

"Lucy!" Jim screamed, rushing to her side and putting her head in his lap.

Up close he could see that she was torn to ribbons from where the alpha's claws had sliced her underbelly deeply.

Even he knew that no vet could be save her and like the rest of his family she would leave him.

His faithful companion stared up at him with glazed yet loving eyes as she licked his hands gently.

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you Girl. I love you so much." He wept into her fur.

Lucy's breaths came out in labored pants as more blood seeped onto Jim's pants.

"No Lucy. No." He cried lightly into her fur as she breathed her last breaths.

He felt her heart stop under his hands and he could not stop his weeping as he held her tighter.

"Lucy. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want anyone else to die for me."

Jim held her till she grew stiff in his arms and then he carried her home.

He buried her the next day and as he did he made himself a promise.

No would ever die trying to protect him again.

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><p>I have no idea if there are wolves in Iowa and I'm too tired to look it up. If anything I hope everyone likes this chapter. I've always had this picture in my head that Jim would have had a female Labrador named Lucy. She's my first OC dog.<p>

Anyway, the goal as always is five reviews!

P.S: The next chapter will be about Bones.

Yours truly,

Jessica499499


	5. Bones

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Warning: Spirk fans, you're going to need to power through this tiny amount of Jim/Bones. This is a Spirk fic and I promise that Spock will actually be in the next chapter.

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><p>"Stop pulling so hard Bones! I'm stumbling enough as it is!" Jim complained as McCoy dragged him back to their academy dorm from the last bar.<p>

The doctor scowled and pulled harder.

"I'll drag you anywhere I damn well please you alcoholic. I'm not going to let you drink yourself to death while you're under my care."

Jim grinned and snuggled closer to his best friend.

"Aw I didn't know you cared Bones."

McCoy grumbled curse words under his breath as he keyed in the access codes to their room.

No sooner had he gotten his inebriated roommate inside then he felt the blonde press him against the wall and claim his lips in a heated kiss.

Bones went limp against Jim's onslaught and waited motionless until the blonde pulled back for air.

"Love you Bones."

McCoy flashed him a pained grimace as he pushed Jim back lightly.

"You're drunk Jim. You need to get some rest and detoxify. I'll give you a hypo for the hangover in the morning."

Jim stared at him unseeingly for a long moment before flashing him a falsely bright grin.

"Course Bones. I'm just a drunken sex fiend. Nothing to worry about."

Jim let himself be led to his bed and seated with no protest as he let Bones take care of him.

The doctor pulled off his boots and slipped his jacket off his shoulders. When Jim was down to just his shirt and shorts Bones pulled back his covers and laid Jim under them.

"I'm sorry Bones." Jim finally whispered softly, looking at Bones so sadly that his best friend could hardly bare it.

Bones leaned over and placed a soft kiss to Jim's forehead before pulling back.

"I do care about you Jim. Just not that way."

Jim nodded slowly as tears silently trailed down his face.

"I know Bones. I know…..I just need some time."

Bones nodded and put a hypo by his bedside.

"I'm sorry Jim." He whispered before closing the door to the room.

Bones spent the rest of the night pretending he didn't hear the sobs coming for the next room.

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><p>I love Bones and Jim, but I shudder at the thought of them together. I'm a spirk fan through and through. I hope you all like this chapter and I have a feeling you'll like the Spirkness in the next chapter! Read and review! The goal as always is five!<p>

Yours truly,

Jessica499499


	6. Spock

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Enjoy the long awaited Spirk.

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><p>Jim smiled sleepily up at the ceiling with drugged glazed over eyes as the lights of sickbay danced before him.<p>

"Pretty." He giggled lightly, high as a kite on pain medication.

Bones rolled his eyes and pushed Jim back down onto his bed.

"Stay down Jimmy. You're in no condition to be gallivanting around the ship."

Jim squirmed halfheartedly before staring off at a flashing view screen to his left.

"Pretty." He gushed again.

Bones groaned before hitting the intercom button on his right.

"McCoy to Spock."

There wasn't even a two second pause.

"Spock here Doctor."

"I need you to come down here and pick up the Captain before I drug him into unconsciousness."

Bones could just hear the eye roll in Spock's voice as he replied.

"Please try and restrain yourself Doctor. I will be down momentarily. Spock out."

Bones gave his own eye roll before he turned to face Jim. The blonde seemed to now be dazzled by his bed rail.

"Don't get too caught up in the rail Jim. I've got your Vulcan crush coming down to drag you back your corridors."

Jim immediately perked up.

"Spock is coming?" Jim exclaimed, all smiles and giggles at the news.

"Spock is so awesome and pretty! He's the bestest bestie ever! I love when he does that I'm not smiling, but I really am on the inside smile! It makes the whole world seen warm and fuzzy!"

Jim was so caught up in gushing about Spock he failed to notice the Vulcan's entrance into sickbay.

"Spock keeps me safe and watches over me and he gets me. He's so awesome."

Jim closed his eyes and leaned back against his pillows in sudden drowsiness just as Spock came to stand next to his bed.

Bones put a finger to his lips to try and keep the Vulcan silent.

"Lots of love for the Vulcan huh?" He prompted quickly.

Jim smiled so sweetly it made both men's hearts melt.

"Yep I love Spock lots and lots. I shouldn't, but I do. He's just so perfect and funny and understanding underneath it all. He's too sweet to hate me, to loyal to leave me, to kind to hurt me, too strong to die on me and too smart to die for me. He's perfect."

Jim opened his still glazed over eyes and smiled right at Spock without seeing him.

"Too perfect for someone like me. But I can't help it. I love him so much." He whispered regretfully.

Spock sank into the seat next to Jim's bed and reached out to tenderly hold Jim's hands between his own.

Bones had never seen the Vulcan look at anyone so tenderly, even when he'd been with Uhura.

"It is I that bask in your perfection Jim and I who love you 'lots and lots'."

Jim looked up at him so starry eyed it was breath taking.

"You said it back." He whispered in awe.

But even drugged the disbelieving look was very clear on his face once the words sank in.

"Why?"

Spock smiled the tiniest smile in the universe as he sent waves of affection through his skin to Jim's.

"Because I feel it Jim." He assured his captain.

Jim squeezed Spock's hands tighter in response and smiled weakly up at him.

"Will you still feel this way when I wake up?" He asked hopefully.

"I will feel it until the end of my days Jim. There will never be another day I will not assure you of that fact."

Jim titled the side of his head against his pillow in Spock's direction as he seemed to come out of his daze a little.

"When I wake up I expect a longer explanation and some awesome kissing Mr. Spock." He ordered in his most drowsily authoritative voice.

Spock pressed a Vulcan kiss to his fingers as he replied.

"Of course Captain."

Jim nearly nodded off with a dreamy smile on his face from that answer, but not before he shot a hazy glare at Doctor McCoy.

"We will have a long talk about this Bones."

Bones grinned smugly.

"Whatever makes you happy Jim." Bones teased quietly, but Jim had already dosed off.

Spock pressed one more quick kiss to Jim's hand before gathering the unconscious blonde up in his arms.

"I thank you for your assistance Doctor I will return Jim to his quarters and await his awakening." He whispered solemnly, nodded at the smug physician.

"I may not like you very much Spock, but I can't truly hate anyone who loves Jim. Lord knows there aren't enough of them in this universe. If you take care of him and treat him right you won't owe me any thanks."

Bones's grin then turned wickedly happy.

"But if you hurt him I can't promise your safety. I know every colorless, tasteless poison known to man and Vulcan and I'm the ship's only coroner. No one will be able to prove anything if I decide you aren't meeting my expectations for how Jim should be treated. Just keep that in mind."

Spock's face didn't show a trace of fear; he merely raised an elegant eyebrow at the doctor's threat and carried his beloved to their corridors.

When Jim awakened he would offer a much more detailed explanation about his feelings and plenty of kisses.

His Captain would never live another day of his life feeling unloved.

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><p>I had this vision of Jim saying 'Shiny' in a clearly drugged out voice and couldn't help myself. I just had to throw that in. I hope it was worth it to all my reviews to finally read the last chapter.<p>

If you haven't already be sure to review one last time and tell me what you think! I have tons of Spirk posted and more on the way so an author alert wouldn't hurt either!

Thanks everyone!

Yours truly,

Jessica499499


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